11.02.99 - Modern day heroine (not the drug!)
I was extremely insensitive in my last journal entry about the losing someone from a relationship split issue. Without thinking about others situations I just opened my big mouth and made a sweeping generalisation without thinking. It was one particular journal I was talking about that had lead to that comment and I don't even think he reads this journal but anyway... I apologise to the person who thought I could have been talking about them. Not everyone's situation is the same and it was stupid of me to make the comments I did. It would serve me right if it happened to me I suppose and then I could appreciate how difficult it must be. I've lost people before but it's either been mutually agreed and ended on good terms or I have been the one who ended things. I guess I have been 'lucky' that way.
I've been lucky in a lot of ways really. I want to also make mention of someone who has a lot of strength and every time I hear about what she is going through I just get a mental slap and I have to sit and drool with admiration for her and chastise myself for all the petty whining about things that I do. Her name is Cheri and you may have seen that she's signed my guestbook a couple of times. She has a beautiful little girl called Sarah who has just had the biggest load of crap to deal with ever since she was born and her parents have had to deal with it all too of course. She has cerebral palsy, Downs Syndrome AND suffers from seizures and that's a hell of a lot to put up with! After all this time they are still managing to carry on with their daily lives and Cheri is managing to look after her other children with some help from her husband too of course. When I feel like I have it bad I just have to look at this example and it reminds me just how good my life is and most importantly how easy it is. As of late I have also been reading Cryptic Sugar Diary online and she always seems to be upbeat about things which is an inspiration!
Well hot off the "flat news" desk we have the following... this morning Peter and I faxed off our employer references to the accomodation agency and they were handed to the landlord almost immediately. He is apparently making an inventory and Peter has been told to phone back in the morning to find out if we are going to be given the flat. It's looking good but I keep trying to stop myself from saying stuff like that because I worry I am tempting fate. I make all these plans in my head and I don't want to have to keep scrapping them all and starting again. I shouldn't make plans. Dammit, I am so impatient, I want to know NOW! Hehehe.
I have been saved from the horror of Valentine's Day! Wohoo! I was speaking on the phone earlier and 'mystery lover' has to work on that day. I've been saved from having to take action on this issue and it is just as well because I have other things to be thinking about right now and I could do with the break. In fact the flat issue has provided a good cover for a while but I know I need to get this sorted out soon. I'm such a "I'll do it tomorrow" kind of person. I wonder how I can change that? I need to be more pro-active and I read somewhere once that told me to do all the horrible things at the start of the day so that I could enjoy the rest of it without worrying. I know that makes sense but still I am the kind of person that puts off doing the horrible stuff until towards the end of the day because I can't bear the thought of doing it early on. I just need to program my brain to think otherwise.
I got a call from the bank today asking if I wanted to go in to my local branch and have them review my accounts. This is a sneaky cover that TSB use for their sales technique. They usually scour your accounts for gaps that show you are not using one of their services and they push for you to use it. The last two times they tried to sell me this account called 'TSB Select' which would have entailed me actually paying a small fee every month. I gave up on the idea because there were not that many features of the account I would use to get any benefit out of but last time I went for a review was just before my holiday and I got commission free travellers cheques by signing up. Damn....they got me! However this time is just after I was refused for a loan by them so I am not as willing to have them try and sell me something. I am also in limbo at the moment because of the flat and job situation so I declined their offer of having me in to try and sell me something. I will have to transfer my accounts and all that kind of stuff when I move though. Hmmm.....that's got me thinking about all the things I will need to do.... notify people of my new address, move accounts, register with a new doctor and dentist, change my car registration details etc. Oh well, no use thinking about that until I actually get a flat I suppose.
I drank so much coffee at work today that I felt sick when I got home. Do you think it is possible to get addicted to caffeine? I'm not really sure but I should be more careful about what I send down my throat I guess (hey, no funny comments please!). The huge packet of custard cream biscuits at work is almost gone and I only took them in on Monday. I like to have little things like that at work though to make it seem less like a sterile, drone worker environment and more like a relaxed, homely kind of place. Hahahaha......as if it would ever really feel like that! Pauline and I chat a lot and have a laugh though and I really don't mind it aside from the pressure of work, office politics bullshit and managerial idiocy. You can't have your cake and eat it but I guess you can at least have cake. Hmmm..... I'm hungry now.
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Created by Rich Hull,1999.