01.02.99 - Deadwood throwing paperclips

I'm so impatient sometimes that it hurts. I've been hanging around all day thinking about the flat and about work and about money and... ugh! I am just getting myself so stressed out about everything and it is seriously making me ill. I used to poo poo the idea that stress makes you ill but from this experience I can believe it. My stomach has been in knots, I have had the most god awful headache for three days now and I still feel dizzy and tired. It's not as if I've even had that much to get stressed about really, it's just my natural "worrier personality" that is doing this to me. I noticed that I was snappy at work too and my boss was irritable today too which was very unfortunate for both of us when he came in asking some irritating and dumb question. He wanted some statistical information which he is not due to get for another week or so. Normally I would just say no and ask if he can wait a week but this didn't seem to work today and he kept insisting that there must be some way that we can get 'preliminary figures' that he could work with. I tried insisting that there wasn't, even though I knew there was but I just wasn't prepared to waste my time spending hours pulling it all together for him when he could just as easily wait a week. I snapped at him momentarily and he snapped back, so being the subordinate in this situation I caved and told him I would "try". I prevailed however when I checked out the preliminary figures only to find out that the source was unreliable as the relevant person was not in work at that time. This changed his mind and I ended up not doing it for him. See? I was right in the first place... if only bosses would listen to their staff sometimes.

It's the start of a new month and I got to turn over to the new cartoon on my Dilbert calendar. It's possibly my favourite of all the month's cartoons. It has Dogbert standing on the desk shouting "Someone in this room is a piece of deadwood pretending to be a contributor!" and to his side is an actual piece of deadwood in a dress saying "Hey! I made some calls and I'm waiting for information." It's funny how those cartoons are so accurate on office matters sometimes. At the moment though I feel like a bit of office deadwood because I just can't be bothered to contribute at all. In fact I am not sure Pauline and I did any real work today. We spent most of the time sifting through the Inpatient database looking to see what clinical ailments people had and looking through the medical dictionary to find out what terms meant. Did you know that 'syncope' was the clinical term for 'fainting'? Well you do now :) Actually we have talked about this before and decided we are the real life version of the Batchelor's Pasta 'n Sauce couple. Have you seen those ads? They're hilarious. Pauline and I spent ten minutes one day trying to throw paperclips in one another's coffee mugs. We're sad... really sad.

Peter still hasn't called about the flat. I don't know whether that is good news, bad news or just me being terminally impatient! I got a call I didn't want by leaving my mobile on which was a pain. It was the relationship I tried to end coming back to haunt me after only two days. I knew it wouldn't be long before I got a call. I wish I had left the mobile switched off. I still don't know where we stand and I'm too stressed and tired to think about it. I have an application form to fill in and I keep putting it off and carrying it around with me expecting to do it but then... putting off doing it again. I have to force myself to do it tomorrow because I really want the job. I just hate filling those bloody things out!

And finally (as they say in the news)... I got a very late Christmas / New Year card this morning from someone who told me I am going to burn in hell! How nice. I won't mention any names and I may have taken it all out of context but still... you can imagine how I felt when I opened that on a Monday morning.

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Created by Rich Hull,1999.