21.01.99 - Today I will be strawberry flavour

I feel in some strange way that today has been quite 'fulfilling'. I'm not sure if that is the right word but what I am trying to say is that even though I have not had the best time today I feel like I have done some positive things and in general just made my time on this earth worthwhile. Oh hell... I know what I am trying to say here but I just can't seem to put it into words eloquently. I'll just leave you to work out what you think I am trying to say.

Work was the same old stuff and I was just beginning to get exasperated when I realised that I could leave in half an hour because I had booked half a day's leave. It meant that I put off writing some system specs until tomorrow morning which was dumb because I have a meeting at 3:30pm and I will need the specs to hand for the meeting. I don't think I will get it done in time now. Oops! Oh well. I spent most of the morning farting around trying to write up some minutes from the meeting yesterday. I shouldn't have to write minutes for the damn meeting but if I don't do it no-one will. I haven't even been asked to do them but I feel that we need some kind of written record of what was agreed and what was discussed otherwise the project will go off on a tangent again and we will lose direction and focus (did we have any to start with?!). I rushed home in the awful fog that's been hanging over town all day and then got ready in record time to go out.

I was a wee bit anxious at the thought of my appointment at 'the clinic' but I was so tired that I slept almost the entire 50 minutes on the train. I was conscious at one point that I might have been snoring or I might have lopped my head to one side and let my jaw drop open. I don't suppose anyone would have really been that bothered except me if that had happened... and I was asleep so I was unaware of what I was doing!

I found the clinic very easily and was not nearly as embarrassed or traumatised by the ordeal as I thought I would be. I was still very determined to go through with it though and I think that helped at the start. All the staff were so nice and so helpful (except the reception staff... why are all receptionists seemingly thick as s**t and more often than not just plain rude?!). I saw a doctor who talked through some stuff with me and did a quick examination. He then suggested I have a 'full screen' and I agreed. Well, I thought I may as well have the whole lot or it's not worth going! I grabbed a ticket and waited and then saw a counsellor. It's mandatory for any kind of testing like that so that people are in possession of all the facts and so they can make sure the person will not just go out and kill themselves if they get bad news. She was really nice and talked through loads of stuff I already knew but it gave me the opportunity to ask a couple of things and hey, she gave me six free flavoured condoms! "Hi my name's Rich and today I will be strawberry flavour... come and lick me". Hahahaha. Gee, I hope no kids are reading this. Cover your eyes!

After the counsellor I saw a nurse who tortured me. Hahaha... no seriously she took some blood, did a throat swab and another swab that wasn't quite so pleasant(!). She also gave me a free Hepatitis B vaccination injection. Bargain! I have to get two more booster shots though and then I will be vaccinated. You gotta love the NHS sometimes and I must say this is one of the rare examples of how it bends over backwards for the patient. I mean it shouldn't be free if you think about it logically. If anyone there has anything then its most likely because they were messing around at their own risk and if it was their own risk then really they should pay. Well, I'm not arguing right now. :) I go back next week for the results. I got some that came back negative but the others take a while longer to process. I feel so much happier now that is all out of the way. It was so easy to get sorted out too. I don't know why I was being such a big baby before. It's funny too when you think about it. They go out of their way to ensure confidentiality and here I am posting my own details on the web! Sheesh, I must be mad. I would be more hesitant to do it if I thought that not many people go through this but I realise that's not the case.

I followed all this up with some retail therapy. It's been a little while since I just wandered round London looking in shops for stuff so that's what I did! I bought a new CD called "Gran Turismo" from The Cardigans. It's really quite good and I love that one they released as a single, "My Favourite Game". In fact I am listening to it now. I also bought my Mum some chocolates and some scented candles and went to look at the STORM™ watches. I want one of those little watches that fit on your finger like a ring and the STORM™ ones are really cool! I don't know how much they are but I bet they are at least £40 which is rather a lot for such a tiny thing. In fact they are probably about £70 or £80. Maybe I'll go money mad and just buy one soon. My existing watch has actually stopped at the moment because the battery has gone kaput and I feel naked without it!

My plans for a night out tomorrow were almost scuppered when I got a call from my friend saying that he was too depressed and didn't feel like going out. He's unemployed at the moment and it's getting him down. I phoned him back to reassure him that I would pay for everything so he need not worry and that he should come out and forget about his worries and just have a good time. I can't believe that I am going to end up paying for everything for him now but at least it will drag him out of his depression and at least it means I get to go out after all. I could have gone out without him but it wouldn't have been as much fun and I wanted him to meet my other friends. We had a long chat on the phone and I think I helped pull him out of his depression a lot which made me feel good in the process. I'm really quite lucky with my life. I have it easy and I have so many things to be grateful for... yet I whine and complain so much! Just remind me of that next time I whine ok?

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Created by Rich Hull,1999.