24.01.99 - Dilemmas for Dummies

A few habits seem to have emerged from writing journal entries and readers other than myself are possibly more aware of them than I am. One is that I tend to bitch about things so much even though in real life I really don't moan and bitch this much. Another is that I tend to give out rather a lot of detail about things that are pretty personal and most of the time I do it for either shock value or because I just feel this overwhelming need to share with people and get feedback from them as to whether my behaviour is acceptable or not. Sometimes I just can't keep my mouth shut. The latest thing was my discussion of the STD clinic. I mean... maybe I should have just kept that to myself. I guess that would make my journal entries even more boring eh?

I had quite a lazy day today but I did need it. The whole week has been a bit 'full on' and after Friday I could have slept all weekend quite happily. I phoned Sri and as it turned out.. he had done! He got home on Saturday morning, went to sleep and according to him he never got up again until Sunday morning!!! He got 20 hours sleep and I just could never do that without my body forcing me to wake up and get out of the bed. I hate laying around in bed too long and I don't understand these people that can lay around all day watching TV from their bed and eating their meals there. Ugh... it would remind me too much of times when I was ill and HAD to stay in bed, and who wants to be reminded of that?

I have a dilemma (jeez, I spelled that word four different ways and eventually had to check in the dictionary, only to find out I was right in the first place!). I have had the opportunity to move into London flash before me and I'm still riding on the initial wave of excitement at the idea. A friend is being booted out of his rented room by his landlord and needs to be out by February. Jokingly I suggested that we share a cardboard box somewhere. He replied by saying that he would suggest us looking for somewhere to share but that it would only be temporary because he wants to buy somewhere eventually. After thinking about it that would suit me fine because I am not sure I would want to live with him for a long time anyway and it would at least let me get a foothold in London (and a foot OUT of this crappy town I am in now). I need to calm down, think it through practically (Ugh! I hate my practical side... it spoils all my fun) and then decide quickly before he looks at other options. He may not even want to do this and may have been joking but all it took was a little idea to get my mind working overtime on this issue. To think... I could be in London within my preferred timescale (in other words... as soon as possible!). I could hand my resignation letter in this week.... ohhhh somebody stop me from dreaming. This all sounds too wonderful and seductive and I just know my practical side is going to come along and kick the shit out of it.

I was watching "The Lakes" on BBC1 tonight because I have a friend who was an 'extra' in it and although he didn't know which of the 10 episodes he would be in I spotted him! I phoned him afterwards and jokingly asked for his autograph. He says he is in another scene somewhere along the way so I guess I'll be watching out for that again. He's been filming as an extra on a new version of "Cleopatra" this week which will star Timothy Dalton and Billy Zane (but who is Cleopatra? Hmmm). Apparently Billy Zane is gay (sorry girls!... but he was kind of camp in 'Titanic' wasn't he?) and was asking for his boyfriend to be given a small part (I had to bite my lip here to stop me from spouting some innuendo. Hehe). I love all this inside information on famous people. Does that make me a sad git? If I get to the stage where I am buying "Hello" can somebody shoot me please?

I saw a book in town yesterday called "JavaScript for Dummies" and I was sorely tempted to buy it. If it wasn't for the fact that the damned book was so expensive I would have done so but the angel on my shoulder guided me towards saving my money. The devil on the other shoulder has been screaming at me all day today though saying I should have bought it. I guess JavaScript skills could come in handy at the moment if I could put it on my CV but I don't know whether I can learn it properly from a book or whether the skills would really be needed for the kinds of jobs I am likely to be going for. I might see if I can get some advice from one of the recruitment agencies this week. Well... that's if they don't cut me off or just not call back like they have in the past. If you ever have to go to a recruitment agency, make sure it's a last resort! Whatever they tell you doesn't matter. In the end the only people they seem to be interested in are themselves and their commission. If they give you the impression that they are looking to find a job for YOU, then you're being fooled because they only want to place you in a job so they can get their commission. They don't care if they screw you around or make you feel like shit in the process and if you haven't got the skills they are interested in then you might not even hear from them! If there are any recruitment consultants out there reading this, I dare you to argue this point with me! You know I am right... and if you think I am wrong then maybe I should be registered with you instead! Hehehe. At this juncture I would ask that everyone lights a candle and says a prayer for Rich's career.

"But I'm not religious."

I don't care, light a damn candle will ya? I'm desperate.

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Created by Rich Hull,1999.