11.10.98 - Getting a "rush" without poppers

I had a really good weekend. These days I just live for the weekends which is unusual because I used to be so focused on work that I spent Sunday afternoons thinking about it. Nowadays I couldn't give a flying crap about work (except the money of course so I can enjoy myself outside work). What a shame that is. I wonder what it's like to have a career you enjoy and see some results from?

I was a wee bit nervous about Friday night because there were going to be people I didn't know at all and I was worried I might hate them. As it turned out they were all nice people and we had a great time! I got a lift into London with my Dad and then made it down to Kevin's place in SW. I hadn't had a chance to eat dinner and I can only remember having eaten a bag of crisps and some chocolate (not very healthy I know). When I got there I met Graeme who was already drinking and offered me a vodka and red bull. I said yes to be polite really but it went straight to my head beacuse I had not eaten enough to soak up the alcohol. I had another two before we left for the pub. After the pub six of us went on to a club in the West End and even though we split off in many directions we managed to have a great time dancing, drinking, laughing, snogging people (well some of us) etc. It seems like every ugly person in London was attracted to me at that club. It did nothing for my self esteem to find that all the beatiful people just weren't interested but Saturday night made up for that. I spent the early hours of Saturday morning in the comfort (or DIScomfort) of a sofa at Kevin's place. I vaguely remember eating some warmed up pizza before and I had a craving for more when I woke up. There wasn't any left.

I navigated the public transport system successfully and met up with James at his and Trevor's flat. We had an interesting dinner cooked up by Trevor with chicken, pasta, tomato sauce, vegetables of all sorts and some herbs and stuff. It was a teeny bit 'hotter' than I usually have but it tasted good. After a brief rest and some other distractions we eventually all got down to their local pub/club. I must say I am very jealous of this place. It was quite large and only about 10-15 minutes walk from their place. There were loads of lovely people there, the bar was nice, the club was great and we all had the best time! I had some people "eyeing" me up and they were quite good looking which boosted my self esteem no end. Hehe. I also got some guy who offered me "poppers". I wasn't 100% sure of what they were so I refused and carried on dancing. I have since found out that they are made up of Amyl Nitrate and are legal in the UK. You sniff them and they produce a kind of "rush" that lasts a few minutes. If I had know they were legal and know the implications I may have tried them. In retrospect it's probably good that I didn't (especially as I think the reason they were offered to me was because the guy was after me!) but in the future if someone offers I might not say no. We'll see. I'm most certainly never going to take anything illegal and/or dangerous so don't all go e-mailing me with lectures please!

I spent hardly any money at all on Friday night (except for transport costs...which amounted to quite a bit!) but I made up for it on Saturday. I really hadn't figured on spending so much and it will probably set back my finances a little but then I need to have fun so it is just the way it will have to be! I literally only have a few pence in my wallet now and I nearly didn't have enough to get home on the train! I was late home for dinner.... yet again. My poor Mum tries hard and goes to the trouble of cooking me dinner and this is about the third time I have been late home. Sorry Mum!

My holiday is only about a month away now and I am nervous and excited all in one go. I am also a little less enthusiastic about it. I suppose that's because my natural instinct to worry has kicked in. I start thinking stupid things like "What if I don't really know the people I am staying with well enough? Will we all hate each other when the time comes? What will I do if that happens? Will my holiday be spoiled by something? Will my plane crash? Will I get all the right thing sorted out before I go?". Hehehe..... silly I know. I will forget all of this and just be excited in a major way the closer to the holiday I get.

Back to work tomorrow. I don't feel as down about it as I did last weekend. I think thats partly because I am getting used to having good weekends and thus the anti-climax does not feel like such a huge fall. It could also be because I have resigned myself to the fact that stressing about my wage level at work is not going to get it sorted out any quicker. I might feel differently on that subject after tomorrow but for now I really don't care much. I have things to do in the week outside work too which will help to break it up a bit. All of a sudden I feel like I have loads to do and not enough time to do it all in! That's what happens when your social life takes off and you lose all those boring evenings of paperwork and television watching behind. I'll probably want it all back before long when I am broke and over tired. Speaking of tired.......

PREVIOUS ENTRY   JOURNAL MENU   NEXT ENTRY

Website created by Rich Hull,1998.