04.10.98 - A two and a half hour drive for pizza

I'm becoming quite tired so I don't think this is going to be a long journal entry. The weekend was quite standard really if most of my previous trips to London can be compared. It had been James and Mark's birthdays recently and they had gathered some friends together so we could all go out in the West End for a sort of celebration. The journey there was a bit of a nightmare but admittedly not as much of a nightmare as I had anticipated. I managed to make the whole journey into London without fault and made what I thought was "ok" time. I made it across Battersea bridge and then into south west London but there things became tricky. The road layouts look very different in reality than they do in the pages of an "A to Z" guide. I got about half way through south London and then missed a turn which meant I had a really long and confusing detour which took me through Balham, Clapham, Brixton and Tulse Hill before I finally made it to my destination. Ugh... I hate complicated roads sooooo much and London is just full of them. Well I made it in the end and it only took me about two and a half hours!!!! The journey home was also not successful in that I missed my turn again but I managed to correct it easily enough and got back within two hours. Not bad...especially as the traffic was worse than it had been on the way down and conditions were bad (it was raining). Anyway when I got to James' place he got in the car and we drove into the West End.

The journey into the West End was awful (as expected) but we made it there 15-20 minutes late. We had a drink at the pub (non alcoholic for me because I was driving. Boo hoo) and then went on to Pizza Express in Soho. I ordered an "American" pizza which is just standard cheese, pepperoni, tomato and some spicy pork thing but they managed to screw it up and brought me an "American Hot" pizza. I don't know what the great difference is but the "hot" insinuated that it would be too spicy for me so I made them take it back and get me the proper order. I had to wait five minutes which was really annoying as everyone else was sat there eating their pizza already. Now I made the supreme effort to be more talkative this time with James' friends and I was. It did not help though that James virtually ignored me ALL night and never said more than a few words to me except when he was drunk and when he was messing around. Is that any way to treat me after I had driven him there AND agreed to take two other people in the car on the way back? Actually that is another issue... HE had agreed that I would take them in my car. If I had been given the opportunity I may have offered them myself but it pissed me off a bit that it was decided for me. Of course I could not say no or I would have looked like a real shit. Grrrrrrr.

I seemed to let all these things slide because it was supposed to be his birthday celebration and because I thought he might still be a bit mad about the previous weekend so I was prepared to allow him time to let off steam. At the end of it all though I feel a bit cheated. It's like I was hardly there most of the time and when my presence was noted it was just because someone wanted something. You know sometimes I am really sick of being "good old Rich" who will do anything for anyone regardless of his own commitments or feelings. Screw that! The fact is I won't and don't want to! I don't care if that sounds selfish. Is it any different to the way I get treated by the same people? I feel like I need to vent these feelings but I know if I had done this already to James that I may have regretted it and that the end of the weekend when I am about to leave probably wasn't the best time to do that anyway. I might have to let him know how I feel another time if the subject comes up.

I'm quite anxious for this week to end before it has even started! Firstly I am anxious that my regrading gets processed on Tuesday and secondly I am anxious to go out on Friday night so that I can have some fun! I have told Kevin to set aside that night so we can go out in the West End. He says he doesn't want to drink as much this time. Hehehe. Well it should be fun anyway going out for a night with someone who knows how to have fun and whose idea of fun is not sitting around in a pizza place chatting with only a few select people and...... oh never mind. I'm just stopping myself there before I begin to sound really bitter.

God, this was a boring journal entry wasn't it? Sorry... I'm fresh out of creativity tonight. Look out later in the week for something a bit more exciting by way of a journal entry.

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