22.12.98 - You's wants' a piece uh me?! Right on!

I scribblin'ed anoda' half day uh my annual leave and went into London dis afternoon. 'S coo', bro. Mah' day wuz not turnin' out real well and ah' could sense early on dat it would be "one uh dose days". ah' came plantation and fed da bud a sandwich and gots eyebally real quickly, fo'gettin' Liva' Lips's birdday card as I strode out uh de doo' and waaay down de road. Mah' mobile rap rod refused to connect (and still duz as some matta' of fact) tellin' me dat it be "searchin' fo' netwo'ks". It plum flashes at me sayin' dat all de time and ah' fear dat mah' identity gots somehow been erased fum de netwo'k altogeder. Ah be baaad... Oh well, looks likes Vodafone gots'ta be digtin' some snotty rap rod call fum me tomo'row (from some Mercury line! Right on!). ah' wuz mildly irritated by dis as ah' knowed dat sucka's wuz likesly t'wanna dig hold uh me o' try t'leave messages. Fo' all ah' know ah' could gots messages waitin' fo' me at de recall centre. Grrrrrrr. Ah be baaad...

Shoppin' on London wuz not as baaaad as I had imagined. London always seems busy t'me and unless ya''ve been dere ya' real kin't snatch it all in. 'S coo', bro. ah' have heard sucka's from oda' countries say how amazin' it all be and far larger dan life dan dey had imagined. To me its plum London. 'S coo', bro...plain and simple and everydin' else now seems tame and some wee bit bo'in'. ah' struggled t'a couple uh shops and den waited outside Towa' Reco'ds fo' Liva' Lips. ah' get paranoid dat sucka's gots'ta dink I am some kind'a rent boy o' puh'vert fo' hangin' around dere but luckily Liva' Lips wuz not long. What it is, Mama! He apologised fo' bein' late which dun didn't matta' a'cuz he wuzn't real. It wuz funky to see him dressed in his wo'k clodes as ah' am used t'seein' him in his casual wear (dude! Right on!). We went on t'do some shoppin' but as ah' had real done da damn two doodads ah' wants'ed t'do ah' plum let him snatch lead and do his bits uh shoppin' and ah' plum went along fo' de ride. We went in some funky shops includin' "American Retro" and some memo'abilia type place in Soho but mostly ended down walkin' round scribblin' shops. Afta' a while uh wanderin' round and Liva' Lips digtin' stressed cuz' he dun didn't know whut to steal sucka's we stopped off fo' sump'n t'eat. Man!

Once da damn shoppin' wuz done Liva' Lips wuz real stressed (sheesh, he gots no stamina fo' stressful situashuns! Right on!... maybe its an age doodad as he gots 10 years on me) and plum wants'ed t'go plantation. ah' wuz some bit disappointed cuz' I had wants'ed t'go round some bit mo'e o' stop off fo' some drink but hey rememba' dis wuz "one uh dose days" so's I wuz never goin' t'get whut ah' wants'ed wuz I? We walked t'Holbo'n stashun and split down, ah' took de Central line and he took Piccadilly line plantation. ah' went back t'Selfridges and bought mah' Mum some chocolates as an early Christmas present (which she wuz drilled wid. hehe). Oh God.... dun did ya' real wants' me t'bo'e ya' wid details of mah' shoppin' day? Tough. Lop some boogie... I'm not backspacin' now afta' all dat! Right on!

When ah' gots plantation ah' checked mah' e-mail and Pauline had e-mailed me fum wo'k t'say dat she gots a linkin' problem wid some spreadsheets at wo'k and wuz plum givin' me advance warnin' dat it would need t'be so'ted out tomo'row, so cut me some slack, Jack. Aargh! Right on! ah' hate linkin' problems... ah' bet its sump'n real dumb and simple but linkin' problems always snatch FOREVER t'so't out. Man! Just whut we duzn't need right befo'e Christmas, especially when sucka's is likesly t'wants' de waitin' list figures fum dese spreadsheets.

Pauline's husband predictably went psycho about da damn gifts ah' gots and gave t'Pauline. He made some dumbass comment about da damn silly idea uh ha' messin' around wid me and den went on t'say "Well he kin steal presents fo' ya' but he's NOT stealin' presents fo' MY son again". Whut a monumental, fuckin' idiot asshole. I'm so'ry fo' swearin' likes dat but dere is plum some sucka's who is not fit t'be described wid nuthin oda' dan swear wo'ds. ah' hope she hurries down and realises dat she's married t'a dipshit and leaves him. WORD! Oops... it's none uh my business real so's I should shut da damn hell down.

De 'homeys' situashun ah' rapped about in my last entry seems t'be settin' waaay down some bit. Man! I'm still some big screw down about doodads likes dat but at least ah' ain't made din's wo'se wid any uh dem. WORD! ah' tried mah' best t'so't one out and hopefully its ok now, so cut me some slack, Jack. ah' went out wid Sri last night and felt so rough dat we had t'call an end t'de night earlia' dan 'spected. ah' had several coughin' fits and afta' eatin' some double whoppuh' wid cheese fum Burga' Kin' ah' decided ah' had t'go plantation o' dese coughin' fits wuz goin' t'make me drow it back down. I should gots listened t'my moda' and gone t'de docto' t'get some antibiotics. ah' guess Mum's is right. Man!.. most uh de time.

Well, Christmas be mos' downon us and I'm ready fo' it now, so cut me some slack, Jack. You's wants' some piece uh me?! Right on! Come and dig it Christmas! Preach it loud, bruddah!! Right on!

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