21.10.98 - Keeping up with the "Wow" factor

I have this ringing in my ears because of my cold. It's really annoying because I can't tell how loud my music is and I can't tell how loud my voice is when I speak. This normally wouldn't bother me but tonight it is doing so because (a) I was in a private phone conversation that I didn't want the whole house to hear and (b) it is late here and I don't want to wake people up with my music. Damn colds. It's really messed up my week and it had better not mess up my weekend. As I was ill I figured that I wouldn't go away this weekend but I have been invited down to London on Friday night and I won't get the opportunity again for a while so I said yes. I just hope I am feeling a bit better so that my cold does not get in the way of me having a good time. I might go into Oxford Circus and do some shopping on the Saturday because I'm not sure I will get the chance again in the next three weeks before my holiday (Yippee!!).

Yesterday my parents had this whole multimedia thing installed from 'Radio Rentals' that included a widescreen television, video recorder with Videoplus™ and the new SKY digital satellite system. It's all very technical and is the epitome of the 90s technological multimedia uprising. There are three remote controls with umpteen buttons that can be used in various combinations for different things. You almost need a diploma just to switch the thing on! Well it will be like anything else new and exciting you get. After a while it will lose its "wow" factor and will become part of the furniture. There is no doubt that I will miss it when I leave home though...or maybe not. I will still have my computer to get my "techno-fix" and I seem to be going out more and more these days as an alternative to watching TV. I don't even seem to find the time to read books anymore and that was always my biggest passion. Strange how things change. Maybe I was always a bit of a social animal but never really had the outlet to express it.

I had a great big long phone call with my old best friend from school again tonight. For some reason we seem to have more in common these days and get on a lot better. We even talked about getting an apartment together if and when he gets a full time job. At the moment he is drifting from one job to another trying to work out exactly what he wants to do with his psychology degree. He's already established that he can't face working with mentally handicapped people which is fair enough. We all have to find our niche in a career (and in our social lives too). I feel in limbo at the moment too. I want to move into London but I feel like I need to get a job there first and I can't really get myself sorted out enough to get a job there yet. I tried in the past but realise now that perhaps I wasn't aiming for the right sort of job. I feel like I have to wait now though because I will be going on holiday and if I apply for a job now then they might invite me for interview while I am on holiday! Argh, why do things never work out easily? I know that my friend Andrea from online would be exasperated to hear me talking like this. She'd probably suggest just "going for it" but I'm afraid my personality just refuses to let me do that. I could try but it would get the better of me psychologically if I strained to behave in a way that wasn't really me. I'd probably crack under the stress and come running back to the familiar. Whatever happens I have made a resolution to myself that I MUST have moved out of this house before my 24th birthday in April. Oh my God.... 24.... scary!

Anyway we have made arrangements to go on a wild night out in London on 30th October. We are going to go down on the train after I have finished work and we will go pubbing and clubbing until the sun comes up. As we both live outside London and the last train is at some ridiculously early time like 11:45pm we have decided that we are going to stay on at various clubs until the morning and then we will either go into the centre of London on Saturday or we will get the first train of the morning back depending on how we feel. I have never actually pulled an all-nighter while I have been drinking and dancing before so I am hoping I can manage to stay conscious. I can certainly go without the sleep but expending all that energy I am not so sure. It will be great fun though as neither of us has ever been out like this into London. We both have this antiquated image of each other as nice, well behaved people. I have never seen him drunk or seen him dance or snog anyone and he has never seen me do those things either. Should be a laugh... or will finish us off. One or the other. Hehe.

Well I'm back at work tomorrow so wish me luck! I know I will still feel a bit groggy which will mean that I will be less tolerant.... which means I may be irritable. Hehehe. Sometimes you have to be like that at work though just to let them know that you are not the pushover who will do anything for anyone that they think you are. I am half hoping that they will have some sort of answer for me about my promotion money but I'm half expecting them to have not made any progress at all. We'll see.

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